Welcome Home...and what's nearest and dearest to us all: the Origin of every heartbeat, and breath and beaming of Awareness through mind, and eyes, ears and skin. It's clear to me, this most vital, precious union with our Source and very Sustenance is where our true Nature and contentment reside. And in any moment, we can recognize this and live accordingly--being settled here, at home, in this peace, this love.
So, however we might conceive of any self-improvement, or worthy cause, religious persuasion or cultural advances, it's good to see these in light of our very Being and core Identity...Each of us is, in truth, already whole and complete--inseparable from What is pulsing life in our every molecule and cell, and from Where all breathing arises and planets and stars float. And when the body inevitably dies, we naturally dissolve back into our formless roots, still and eternally in God's endless domain. What Grace, that we're never apart from this abiding and the greatest of all intimacies and our purest joy; what welcoming arms to trust falling into and how open the heart that's ours to give!
While every form is impermanent, Being itself is a constant presence--the light of Consciousness shining through us, in which thoughts and feelings, people and circumstances appear and disappear. Such is our Source-connected home and the clear, all-encompassing view from here (where we've always been, but may not have known it or acted like it)...In being home, in being present as the Awareness which outshines everything, we can't help realizing the fulfillment, the love, that's free of any need to seek it. And any moment is our chance to convey this--as a simple attentiveness and caring, complete with sighs of genuine relief and gratitude.
A split second is all it takes, to tell the most fundamental truth about ourselves--to be still and look directly into our heart of hearts and honestly affirm this: Our very essence is our oneness with God, with our Source and Sustenance, and what unites us all amid our diversity. And what better message to embody in order to better our world, by treating each other more as we really are. Such is love and the vast reach of radiant Consciousness, where life's blessings, essential meanings and purposes are made clear. Such is, purely and simply, the happiness and well-being of a life given to this truth-telling awakening--given to love and being at peace, at rest in God, now and forever...home.
In letting a hand rest in the center of the chest we can feel into the breathing, the skin and the beating heart--allowing attention to go right into what we're feeling, and from Where we are created and sustained in every moment.
We don't need any concept of what this is, or have to try and get connected or struggle to be where our attention is, in the pulse of our being, "in God's hands"--this serenity that says it all.
In using the word, "God" to refer to our Creator, our Source and Sustenance, common Origin and Destination, it's good to be aware of anything limiting our view of Who or What that is--like God is mostly "out there" and separate from us; or "He" is strictly masculine, as the supreme father figure, rule maker and judge, and partial to those who "toe the line" or believe a certain way. And for some people, God is primarily a feminine energy; or only found in ascended places or beyond this life; or through one messenger, or group or ideology; or was only really evident years ago or only will be sometime in the future.
These are all interpretations of This that transcends every way of viewing such things; and cautionary tales, as well, of how our ideas, beliefs and convictions can tend to narrow what, in truth, cannot be...So, whatever words are used in these writings for the Totality, or Be-all-and-end-all one might point to as God, there is no exclusive meaning intended for the One, ultimately indefinable presence--that is deeper, more essential and beyond all definitions.
Any name for God in this book alludes to what falling into an awe-struck silence also conveys, as we gaze upon the vastness and perfection of home and the light of Consciousness that is our gazing. What Grace, what good fortune, to receive this chance--to realize Where we come from, are sustained by and return to--the infinite spaciousness in Which all exists.
In any instant of being given life, we are being breathed!--our every breath coming from out of nowhere, Where all inhaling begins, exhaling disperses and nothing Real ever leaves us.
How good, to be conscious of This--the Life-Energy creating and sustaining us, living and transforming us. How good to be rooted here, in our essential reality, right now--by being aware of the breathing in the belly, genitals, legs and feet, solar plexus, chest, arms, throat and head--all over...
It's clear, each of us is a unique individual, with unique capabilities, ways of perceiving things, choices to make, challenges to face and life-directions to take; and at the same time, What we're composed of resonates with our shared origins and the greatest expanse. We're able to identify with this person who is reading this, and know we are much more than our names, our occupations, situations, our past and future, likes and dislikes--more than these physical, mental and emotional forms or personas/egos.
How good, then, that recognizing the Life in our every molecule can wake us up, and deeply affect the way we live and how at peace we are...So, as we might set out on a journey of Self-discovery, we may not know we've already arrived. Our most fundamental, Source-connected truth is home and who we are in our entirety, right now, and forever after our physical passing.
Such a miraculous unfolding: All is arising from one Source, and multiplied beyond trillions and trillions--as "you" and "me" and every life-form--in a multitude of types, and shapes and sizes...Thus, we are One, while in This being many--each of us from God, in God and back into That.
What a moment, then, when we peer all the way inside and see our true face is no face at all, as well as every one we look at everywhere we go--seeing the immaculate emptiness and What's all-pervasive.
As a result, we get to choose what we've been given to find, after perhaps appearing blind to our convergence and Where we've been all along. And when we recognize the true Nature of our encounters, the Oneness underneath our diversity, we can see where compassion, generosity and true service come from and how it is our privilege to be channels for these. We are these possibilities, these embodied expressions of love.
Every one of us is given life in each moment via the heart; and here, within each Source-connected pulse is an intimacy as vast, as infinite, as God is. This is the very substance of our being, our true Self. Love, then, as the heart's openness, is both Who we really are and our most fundamental and highly valued expression of This...Through love, we can sense a direct, most satisfying link to our true Sustenance, and a primary reason for our being here--to incarnate love and the happiness that goes with it.
Or said in this way: When we open from the heart, we are quintessentially aligned with What is manifesting every life-form; and vice versa, when we recognize the whole truth about ourselves, we're naturally inclined to bring the open heart, bring love, to our various encounters...And this can be so universal as to include all that is, or specifically expressed in devotional ways, "brotherly" and charitable ways, romantic, sensual and tender ways--toward our mate, our children, our parents, siblings, friends or in any circumstance and endeavor.
No matter where our affections rest, the real attraction is the outpouring of love itself. This fulfills us the most and best serves the particular directions our lives take.
If we can't help yielding to the pull of love inside us, we are truly fortunate, truly blessed...This is my sense: Love is about blessing--both in receiving God's grace, and reciprocating this, duplicating this, through all the open heart gives. Being irresistibly drawn to our communion with God is to honor it in oneself and in others. This does us the most good, and is being "lucky" in the truest sense of the word.
Giving way to the love that is our very essence is our true happiness--deeper and beyond the allure of any bodily sensation, emotional high, consolation or peak experience. All of these come and go, and often leave behind only a craving for more, and a dejection from never having found the true Nature of what we're seeking.
These tendencies, to look for love and happiness in the ways we do, are what we've inherited, learned and practiced, and they're all around us in our culture. And it's my observation, when our true fulfillment is dependent on how someone makes us feel, or on things we own, our self-image or uplifting events, what we end up with is an imitation of the real thing. This is mistaking love/happiness for excitement and stimulation, attention and approval, and moments of narcissistic/ego confirmation when we look in the mirror. As a result, we create endless strategies to get these, and try to find satisfaction in things like greater popularity, "people pleasing," flattery or even through others feeling sorry for us in order to get their sympathy.
It's no wonder many of us are often disappointed, frustrated, cynical and weary; we haven't realized what comes from all the way inside and satisfies the whole being in an authentic way...And since the heart is always open at our innermost, we don't need to know how to open--only how we close or turn away from our heart's truth. This is a simple recognition, a simple letting go, of all we try to substitute for the real treasure.
It's more than apparent, then, that genuine, lasting love and happiness aren't caused by, or confined to someone or something turning us on, or making us feel a certain way about ourselves. And it's also painfully evident, that what we long for remains undiscovered if we're continually making excuses for the walls we build around our hearts, or playing the victim, and complaining and trying to get others to pity us (for all we've suffered because of our past, or lack of opportunities, our physical appearance or poor health).
The bottom line? Real love, real happiness, is never found in seeking what is subject to conditioned behavior, and the fickleness of wants and circumstances--in what is transitory, unpredictable, undependable and stays only on our periphery...It's most vital, then, to be aware of any and all our attempts to find what we're really looking for in ways that never can.
Until we discover our deepest truth, our insecurities and unfulfilled desires can run much of our lives. Even if we get what we think we want, there is often a subtle, or not so subtle dissatisfaction because our whole being isn't being fed and nourished.
Make a fist, tighten it, and feel the tension created by this. This is just like our conditioned tendency to fixate on ourselves, as these individuated forms we continually try to pleasure, make more secure, work on or struggle to accept. And with this constant grasping for what we think will make us happy, and our being braced against anything to the contrary, it's easy to see why many of us haven't discovered a true and lasting inner peace.
This is the ultimate case of mistaken identity--believing this separate "I" sense is what's most real about us. This is the presumption that we're defined by and confined to a personal or group ego/identity and its particular characteristics. And when these thoughts and feelings, habits and behavior and aches and pains are identified with so strongly, or believed to be what's most true about ourselves, it's easy to appear hopelessly trapped in their "stories" and at the mercy of them.
Thankfully, we can observe that we bind and limit ourselves, and in such a moment of being attentive, relax our clenched "fist" and find a most welcomed spaciousness inside--the home we may appear to leave, but never have, in fact...Thus, our awakening can be seen as a restoration, a homecoming--realizing finally, we are already restored and have always been whole, in truth.
I sense the times in which we're living are perfect for our true well-being to be realized. When there is the greatest need to hear, there is an urgency to listen; when things seem crazy, sanity is most welcomed; and when the hardening around our hearts is so prevalent, so painful, softening is most longed for and ripe to happen.
Many of us had to seem lost in order to be found, had to see what doesn't work in order to know what does and go away to really appreciate being home. These are expressions of the universe in its Totality--with all Its contrasts, ironies and lessons being taught.
And a most profound learning occurs when (by whatever means and circumstances) we thoroughly investigate our actual nature: What pumps life into every moment of our bodily existence, and Where we dissolve back into someday--the Oneness also vibrating in grains of sand, the flow of tides, tables of wood, the wandering breeze and each seeming contradiction of appearing to be otherwise. And it is only seeming to be distant that makes it seem like we're ever returning There--to "the place we've never left."
Even if we think our core-truth is just another idea or belief, concept or story, that's all right. We can start there, and keep reading into the irreducible meaning of it, letting even the slightest interest and faintest hearing of all this pull us in--into what's much more substantial, more real and love-filled, than any supposition, opinion, sentiment or ideology...If we follow this truth-telling all the way, our looking and listening give birth to understanding, and most importantly living, what an open heart radiates.
In looking all the way to Where each split second of awareness begins and flows through, this question, "Who am I?" comes face to face with the answer.
It's also true, many people have no interest in any of this, being preoccupied, instead, with a saga of predicaments, and worries and plans, in which hopes and dreams can be merely distant images of consolation one clings to...And it is my experience, the more we identify with ourselves in these ways, the less likely we are to find the depth of happiness we might be seeking, even if our lives seem well-ordered and managed, and full of prominence and lofty ideals.
What's great, is the briefest moment of truth-telling can wake us up; and this awakening can occur in any instant, or non-stop for the rest of our days or for some amount of time in between.
And, as we might hear about this from someone, read it in a book or through watching a video, it doesn't do us much good until we investigate the truth for ourselves, in whatever ways move us and impact us...Who are we at our innermost? What is really here, as the Origin of heartbeats, and breathing and the flowing of attention? And how, then, to best live by giving way to this inquiry and its revelations?
In letting my innermost guide me, there's no problem with any changes I want to make in my personal life, and trying to prosper in every conceivable way. When I feel the need to modify eating habits, get more exercise, lose weight, put more attention on my livelihood, my finances or stay in closer touch with people, I can welcome these observations and pour myself into their actualization...Who I am, in truth, includes and accepts my appearing as an individuated form who's free to alter any behavior or how time is spent.
Still, as my occupation, my income, my relationships, my looks or health might stay the same or get worse, or become greatly improved or even ideal--the deeper abiding remains, whether or not I'm appearing to succeed or fail at anything I do. This is always here--my Source-connected true Nature, and what to bring to any aspect of any life. Simply put, it's simply being attentive and caring toward whatever the moment brings, and letting myself be given to this way of being.
And if this intention ever has a hidden agenda aimed at inflating my ego, or giving me a deluded sense of self-importance and where genuine happiness is found, may attention to the truth forever puncture this illusion...To have a need for a more refined self-image, or to be recognized as "spiritual," or "evolved" or above others--any such version of ego just creates more of itself--more self-obsession and separation. Thankfully, our truth-telling awareness sees through it all--with all the compassion, forgiveness and letting go gracefully afforded us.
Until our core-truth is realized, or made real in our lives, a conditional approximation of happiness is the best we can do. And we've all experienced this: seeming to be happy for a while, depending on circumstances, mental or emotional phenomena and so forth, and then, poof...one difficult encounter with someone, or piece of bad news, and our pleasant thoughts and feelings are gone. If someone treats us well, or something exciting or stimulating happens--we get a promotion at work, receive an award or an increase in profits--we might experience a surge in positive energy and are loving life. And if the opposite happens, or we lose something valuable or suffer great disappointment or frustration--we're down in a flash, as if our previous "happiness" never existed.
If we're convinced our true fulfillment and well-being are dependent on inner or outer circumstances being a certain way, the contentment that's unqualified gets overlooked or ignored. And this dependency often manifests as a wishing things were different than they are--that our lives should be, or should have been or could be other than they are, "if only." Such is the very picture of dissatisfaction.
Even our "spiritual" endeavors can be mostly about temporary gratification, and trying to maintain or increase the good thoughts and feelings we might equate with our awakening. It's good, then, as always, to see that thoughts, and feelings and states of being are fleeting by their very nature, while our core-truth, our true Nature, is a constant presence. And doesn't this reflect many a spiritual search?--attempting to get what we think we don't have, or have enough of, already--with the persistent sense that we're somehow lacking in what we need to be genuinely happy...It's so good, then, to just stop, and recognize What's presently and abundantly here!
As I see it, meditation comes down to being fully aware in the moment--which is where we always are, only now we're conscious of it...The very same can be said in this way: The heart's center is always open, and we can open to it and from it, be just like it, especially toward any tendency in us to the contrary.
Any facet of our lives is this chance--to be present, as love, while washing the dishes, in being with family and friends, while at work, exercising, driving the kids to school, anything. In the process, we can understand the play of our thoughts, and feelings and circumstances for what they are--as useful in helping us navigate life's day-to-day journey, and the material we get to shine on with the light of Awareness.
Being present is the key--from head to toe, breathing, sensing and alert. And with this whole body feeling-attention, our perception is given a freshness, a vibrancy, and the means to experience the true enjoyment in being alive. And while this way of being may appear to grow stronger and more developed over time, any apparent growth (as well as any apparent lack of it) matters not to being present now, in the only time that matters. Thus, any concern over our mindfulness being sufficiently strong and consistent, or progressing and not failing to--any such unnecessary thinking is best recognized and gratefully, released.
How wonderful, that we can witness anything arising in the mind (no matter how seemingly problematic or confining) and see it through the eyes of Consciousness itself, in Which everything appears and disappears. There's the freedom, then, to think what we will and a natural letting go of any thoughts--surrendering, most essentially, the presumption that the content of our mental activity represents who we really are and what's really important.
So, awakening represents a shift: from being identified with, fixated on and reactive in our thinking--to being at home, as the Awareness which outshines everything...And this can manifest in ways commonly associated with meditation--in being quiet and still, in sensing the breath of Life, and through all our curiosity and wonder can look to and ask about. And this may include any prayer, affirmation, visualization, mantra, koan, yoga or chanting that might accompany our truth-seeing.
There are many forms by which Consciousness travels that can serve as doorways into our innermost sanctuary--countless opportunities to settle into the open heart and joy of Being, and let our pondering gaze behold the One who is gazing!
In the movie, "A Beautiful Mind," the protagonist (John) saw and actually interacted with certain people who didn't really exist, except in his head. A long story short, he was finally able to understand these illusions for what they were, and thereby stand free of the problems posed by mistaking his imaginary world for reality...Being with our thoughts and feelings is the same thing: We don't have to believe they're giving us the complete picture of ourselves.
And not only was John not buying into his hallucinations (by knowing they weren't real), he was also not fighting against them. For a while, he was resisting them, trying to make them disappear; this was just another form of the conflict causing him difficulties. Similarly, when we presume our mental activity totally defines who we are, there's a tendency to believe this "voice" and struggle with its thoughts--trying to reject the troublesome, unpleasant or "unenlightened" ones, while wishing we had better ones.
I loved the parts of the movie, then, when the illusionary characters were floating in and out of a scene, and John knew they didn't have power over him anymore. He could accept them and peacefully coexist with them...As he was doing what he was doing--being focused on his work, or his family life or whatever--everything was essentially all right, whether the make-believe people were appearing or not; he knew the figments of his imagination were just that...We can relate to the play of mind in the same way--seeing that who we are is deeper-seated and further extending than any of the thinking popping up in there.
Situations in and around us might seem good, might seem bad; this may never change. In fact, it's certain, there'll be both the pleasant and the unpleasant, victories and defeats. The real issue is our relationship to any occasion--What we're taken by and take with us, no matter where we go or the events occurring.
Even when circumstances overwhelm us and seem to bury all that's favorable, we can let go and settle deeper still--in God's bottomless being. This is Where, in reality, we all float and likewise, all sink--Where assurance is resounding and we can't help rejoicing.
Integral to God's totality is this realm of polarities in which we live-- of light and dark, birth and death, highs and lows, difficult and easy, agreement and disagreement, comedies and tragedies; the list is most immense, and for a reason...Without the darkness, there wouldn't be anything to illuminate and transform, as each sunrise couldn't exist without the night before it also existing. In the same vein, we feel cold by the absence of heat, a cramped space by the lack of room and an open hand because of a closed one. We recognize the good guy in a story by his relationship to the bad guy, as every such tale has something to solve, to overcome--something to which a happy ending refers and has meaning.
Similarly, being kind and forgiving wouldn't stand out as much without our capacity to be resentful, have animosities and hold on to grudges. How else would we value love's sublimity like we do? It wouldn't feel so good, so right, if we didn't have anything to contrast it with, and didn't experience the pain of our discord and conflicts...And for some of us, the experience of boredom, lethargy and lack of stimulation knows no other outlets than being agitated, contentious and prone to stirring up trouble.
We've all seen this: our tendency to take things so personally, culturally or ideologically that we easily feel threatened--by anything we perceive will thwart our self or group interests, or might do us harm; and thus, the impulse to fight back...And, for many of us, there is often a sense we're bracing ourselves for combat, even if we're not literally at war. In daily life, when we identify so heavily with our ego/form, "fists" can be up, trying as we might to perpetually prove and protect ourselves. In subtle or not so subtle ways, we experience being up against another, being someone who might retaliate, feel victorious or defeated, and so on.
We are given many moments to learn about differences, problems and struggles, and what's involved in resolving these--how any of our defensive and cruel tendencies can defer to a peace-making desire...And deeper still, it's clear to me, is the real peace found in what has no opposite--in What is all-encompassing and unconditional in its love. Here, at our very Source-connected depths, is the wellspring of comfort, reconciliation and healing--where we're naturally inclined to treat each other more on the basis of our common bond and who we really are. And what better place to come from in order to better our world?
What's going on in places like the Middle East, and has spread to other parts of the world, indicates how extreme the identification with one's personal or group point of view and its dogma can be. When, "I'm right and you're wrong" vendettas gain such unresolved momentum over time, and those involved are so entrenched in their side's story and the justification of their grievances, the animosity and vindictiveness easily become "hair-triggered" and full of martyrdom. And with more people's willingness to kill and die for their beliefs, we see the results we do, as news footage, in our face immediately on TV or the Internet...And because of this easy access to information, any violence resulting from the taking of sides can quickly erupt in other places.
So, in terms of the relationship between Israel and Palestine, for example (and what continues to figure in to conflicts in other places), it's most important to look at What their cultures are founded on, as Jews and Muslims, and forever links them. Therein lies the key--to each accepting the other's right to exist, and to finding a mutually agreed upon home for all their people; and resolving these issues depends on a relentless appeal to the heart of both Judaism and Islam--relying on it and abiding thus.
Only when God's all-pervading spirit/presence, this love and deep-seated peace, is valued more than a rigid attachment to specific territory, and any justification for retribution (not to mention any delusions of ideological superiority)--only then can the feuding and its bloodshed cease, lands be shared and sovereignties respected. This shift will require strong leadership and peacekeeping resolve, with the courage to proclaim what both groups, and any others trumpeting their causes must be willing to heed--the holy principles of the wisdom-lineage they have in common.
Likewise, between Christians, Jews and Muslims, and the United States, its allies, and the Arab and Persian worlds, in general (and anyone and anybody, actually): When we really live according to the essence of our spiritual forefather's teachings, and so honor their significance and similarity, then any vestiges of self-righteousness, fanaticism, intolerance and tyranny naturally give way to the real heritage of us all--the one God resonating in each of our hearts and expressed most essentially in our love.
When we so adamantly believe we're on the side that's right, to the point of refusing to empathize in any way with the other's plight, then being defensive in our stance and retaliatory in our actions can control us. And if our reactions become violent, then revenge seeking and continued violence often occur.
Of those toward whom we might feel anger, or seem easy to despise: Can we give both their actions and ours a thorough enough look-see, in order to understand what caused such reactive emotions, and how we may have perpetuated any "sword rattling" or even created more enemies by our behavior?...While affirming the right to defend ourselves, can we usher any situation inside to the realization of Who we are, really? Then, we might have a chance to work things out, rather than continually fanning the flames of rancor, contempt and distrust.
It's clear to me, we're being called to look as deeply as we can inside ourselves--deeper than ideology and causes, deeper than animosity, hurt, personal or group history, everything. This is our challenge, and the opportunity for real creativity and problem solving. And this will only happen when it does, when our innermost being is most highly valued by enough of us and allowed to have the final say...This is the voice of our true conscience. This is our willingness to tell the whole truth about ourselves and to live according to that.
I'm convinced that abiding by our truth-telling has the potential to relax the most complex tensions, finger-pointing and blaming, and render the greatest help in finding the necessary compromises to any situation...Now's the time!--to be honest enough about ourselves, about our core-Oneness, and our arrogance, stubbornness, and how we try to force our will on others. Now's the time to acknowledge our pining for this--for an honesty of conscience that will seep through the walls we build around our hearts, and for an adherence to our common Source and the love flowing from There. I see this hunger everywhere--in people's eyes, in people's faces, in our speech and actions.
How lucky we are when the pain of our cold-heartedness is enough to "break our hearts," and thaw us out with the warmth of tenderness always deep inside.
In lending an ear, I can hear the voice in all of us, crying to be listened to, crying to be heard.
In looking closely, I can see our eyes longing to see What's really here, longing to be treasured.
And with all of this, I can feel us aching to find ourselves at home, in peace.
At any moment, we might encounter someone with whom we've been at odds--someone, perhaps, deserving of our most sincere apologies. And perhaps, there are also those from whom we yearn to hear the same, "I'm truly sorry, please forgive me."
How any of us acts can lead to varying degrees of upset, disappointment or regret; and we can easily feel let down, perplexed and saddened by how events in and around us unfold. There are, thus, many ways we might experience our hearts breaking--which, if the whole truth be told, serves our softening inside and our reliance on this openness and the ever-presence of true mending.
When any of us hurts another, it might not appear as bad as someone on the daily news who's committed a most heinous act; but let's face it, we can be just as malicious in our minds, our emotions or slips of the tongue...In subtle or not so subtle ways, and throughout our lives, we can be doing harm in our imaginations, our casual speech, innuendoes, sarcasm and body language.
It's also certain, further insight and the lessons that come in time are always needed to see more clearly and act more maturely. And how else do we grow up, truly?--but through the repenting of our lapses from what does us the most good.
Furthermore, if we tell the truth about the common Origin of our next breath, we see that our circle of relations is larger than we might have presumed. Its circumference, in fact, reaches far and wide, really far and wide. Our web is spun in more directions than we can possibly imagine; and there's no question, when we hurt someone, physically, emotionally or in our thoughts, we're impacting ourselves at the same time.
Therefore, if there are people in our lives we have wronged or who have wronged us, who can't forgive us or we have trouble forgiving--this is the perfect chance to pay homage to our oneness in God. This is a love truly worth worshipping, and one never diminished by any of our loveless ways--letting us forgive ourselves for not forgiving, and extend, and request and receive needed apologies.
In considering moments in my life I regret, on the one hand, there are plenty of them. If only I knew in the past what I know now, I might have treated someone or some situation in a different manner--making all the difference in what I'm now feeling remorseful about. If only I didn't have the habits and tendencies keeping me confused in the head and narrow in my understanding, I could have made wiser choices, better kept my word and offered kinder gestures. But I didn't; I was at whatever stage of maturity I was, and at times, being as dumb and foolish as a person can be.
So...Any of us can bring whatever we might feel guilty about into the room we're sitting in, and the one deep within us. Here, there is complete freedom to feel whatever we're feeling--a Source-communing sanctuary of such welcoming, that forgiveness and letting go come as naturally as breathing in and breathing out.
In here, we know our regret can serve us, as learning from the past is vital in order to stop repeating patterns of unhappiness...And we're also reminded, that no matter what has happened and how ignorant and cruel we've been, the present is the only time we're in. We can do absolutely nothing about the past, except create a better future by how we are now; and while we're served by understanding what's previously occurred, the past is not worth fixating on and needlessly rehashing. Realizing this is at the heart of
our release, our conversion to love and a gift of Grace that lets us.
We live in a world filled with our humanness, with all the emotions we share, and the situations which impact us and touch common threads...Being human includes our vulnerability, in all its undeniable rawness. Anyone who's been terrified and traumatized when his or her child is in danger, or who has experienced the cruelty of war or the loss of a loved one, knows what I'm talking about--how our lives are susceptible to the most shattering blows.
Simultaneously, this realm has a home Wherein thoughts, feelings and beings of all kinds come and go; Where birth and death, elation and tragedy, tribulation and trial have their place as natural contrasts. This includes both our limited, earthly life-span and our everlastingness.
These two "worlds" may appear different on the surface, and in their size and shape; but if, in any moment, we follow our truth-wonder all the way, There's the merging of every dimension.
For some of us, there is a stigma of shame in admitting to ourselves or our loved ones that we may need mental or emotional help. It's good to be honest like this, and know we all feel weak, confused, disturbed and tormented for whatever lengths of time we do--that we can go through periods of feeling helpless, even worthless, and in need of assistance in whatever ways we're moved to find it.
For some of us, this may be through counseling or therapy alone, or in conjunction with some type of medication (which, it's obvious to me, is necessary for some people). And chemical, nutritional or lifestyle imbalances, and any other related physical and medical issues do exist; so it's good to address them.
Of equal importance as far as I'm concerned (and what any good therapy enables), is to stand in place, and not deny or run from any thought or emotion...When we can no longer escape being shame-ridden, fearful and despondent, things actually become much clearer, much freer. Our normal defenses are down, and the chinks in our armor exposed; and what we've previously used to avoid our feelings can no longer keep us from being like we are at home--open and accepting and cradling our every part.
When we're in pain because of an illness or an injury, it's most natural to do everything we can to relieve it; the same with any discomfort our loved ones might be experiencing. And, there is pain which can't be relieved, or only partially so, or only on some days and not others...We can explore any and all means to deal with any hurt--medically, pharmaceutically or through more natural means, and be willing to let it be.
I know some people will say, "Oh, I have tried to accept my worsening physical condition and that hasn't worked." What to do, but allow those feelings as well, and to feel free to fight an ailment in any way we want. Letting be means just this. We don't have to put on a smiley face, and try to like what's occurring and not do anything about it. For any of us, dealing with a disease or a disability may be our main concern, and where we direct a great deal of energy and attention...Likewise, if a person is starving, first things first, find food!
And the fact remains, our ailing may continue no matter what we do, and may last a long time and even be terminal...Pain is real, sickness and death undeniable; and it is Life encouraging us to look at any experience with a most truth-exposing "microscope." Here, in the very core of anything (as science confirms) is nothing but space--the same pure energy within which every inch of us resides. So, whether we're bodily healthy or dealing with an illness or an injury, it's best to be like we are in our inner spaciousness--freely allowing and free to feel what is.
And this goes for any mental and emotional pain we've experienced, and perhaps still carry with us. Anything--any fear, or sorrow or anger (or even any resistance or denial of these) can be faced completely, met fully by our truth-telling revelation: We are this Vastness containing it all, pervading it all--that's more open than anything.
Thus, there are testimonials with a similar tone: "Before my health crisis began, I was so wrapped up in things, and unable to see beyond the world I assumed everything revolved around. And while I was sick, the whole ordeal often felt unimaginably hard to bear...At some point it became evident, that Life was crying out for me to stop and be 'unwrapped'--be nothing but vulnerable, wide open and given to the 'Be-all-and-end-all,' given to God...What a blessing, that came disguised in order to garner my undivided attention, and unveil What I've come to cherish most of all."
Catastrophic events of nature and incurable diseases can affect us differently than dealing with people who do hurtful things. Whatever we experience regarding human acts we consider vicious or evil may vary from our reaction to an earthquake, a flood, cancer or AIDS. And there is no getting around it, people are capable of the worst possible things and the most terrible natural disasters and illnesses do happen.
Nevertheless, as we might think some of our acts are wrong or evil, and "acts of God" are not, the heart's truth can still be found shedding its light and giving us clarity--on how to see others (even the worst among us), and be OK with our inevitable passing, however it's caused.
Our appearance as this organism is a slice of time in the continuum of our true Self, a blip on the "screen" of Who we are. However it occurs, the ending of anyone's particular "movie" may be sudden, unexpected, or after a more extended visit in this realm full of destructive possibilities...What saving Grace that whatever takes place, Who we are, in truth, goes on and on, as we have since the beginning of it all. What a blessed opportunity to be aware of the "Big Picture" while our present form's alive.
Wanting anything to stay in its present form or state goes against the current that naturally flows--as everything, everyone, every experience, thought, emotion or perception is, in each moment, forming and fading, arising and passing, however rapidly or slowly.
But not to worry: For even though rain and river, spring and sweat, tears and ocean are different tastes, they are all still water--all the same Substance, from the same Source.
This is how I see the circle of Life: Forms are continually being created, lived and breathed for a time, and then cycled back into their formless roots, still and eternally in God's endless domain...Thus, in facing the inevitability of our death, we come upon a fuller sense of our Being--the destination programmed in these body "clocks" that are made, tick away and eventually stop; and when this happens, the Timeless is met.
Just the same, grief at someone's dying is a most natural occurrence. When we're close to a person and he or she dies, it is sad. It's my sense, this is meant to tenderize us, so the love we feel for this special someone can thoroughly infiltrate our life, saturate us, and help all our relationships mean even more to us. And how good, that this serves our acknowledging the love that's everywhere and inviting us to be evermore just like it.
So, in being with a loved one's death, or the prospect of our own, we are humbled by What all forms are at the mercy of and actually consist of. And knowing the current body-mind's time may be up at any time puts any day-to-day concerns in proper perspective. This helps us recognize what's really important, and to just let every aspect of our lives free-fall and settle--into our true, undying Condition.
An integral part of the human experience is about seeing what results occur from whatever we do. Sometimes we know immediately what these effects and consequences are, sometimes we don't or we're unsure; and sometimes we understand much further down the road.
I look at responsibility as our ability to respond to situations in ways we know have true worth. This occurs when it does--when we begin to live on the basis of what's really important to us. Whether we're children or adults, each of us is at a unique place in this process of growing up.
Maturing, in this sense, is about being drawn to the "fire" of truth-telling, tending its warmth amid all we do and letting it burn up any refusal to live as such. We can see, then, how this regard for What's at our depths sparks a basic integrity, decency and respect for others. And these come through in all kinds of specific ways--like keeping our promises and commitments, supporting our families and communities, taking care of our bodies, planet earth, and helping our friends in need.
Bottom line is, being home implies being responsible for our love--to embody it, to "own it," and utilize the nurturing qualities we're given, in our giving of ourselves to whomever we will. And I'm convinced we're the happiest when we're this way, even toward what appears unlovable...After all, the Totality includes all of us who might do bad and stupid things; that's why anyone can still be blessed and treated with dignity. We are always one with God, regardless of sometimes not knowing it or acting like it.
I notice people can be happy when circumstances are good or not so good, and people can be unhappy when circumstances are good or not so good. Haven't we all seen those who appear to "have it all" often in a malaise, brought about by the failure of any kind of ambition, accumulation and self-importance to deliver the real goods?
In contrast to this, people experiencing difficulties or those who are handicapped in some way, can still exude a warmth and serenity amid unrest and what appears unlovable. They somehow know it's their relationship, or attitude, toward what is happening that makes all the difference, no matter what's going on or what they're dealing with.
And let's be honest: We are fortunate if we're not preoccupied with where our next meal is coming from, or whether we'll have shelter tonight--lucky if we're not in the middle of a war torn land, or beset by the severest kinds of strife.
And, it is equally true and an even greater blessing, that if we are going through hard times or in places besieged by trouble, this is the perfect opportunity to look into the well of our being and find our true Sustenance still feeding us there...Every moment is this opportunity--to see from these truthful eyes, and to choose to live accordingly.
As human expressions of God's totality, we are but a portion of This spectrum of possibility. Whatever capabilities each of us is given, extraordinary or not, we can never know or control everything...While taking charge of our lives in the ways we're able, and responsibility for the things we need to, there will be times not turning out the way we'd like, and much that remains a mystery and beyond our power to grasp or manipulate.
The design of the universe and the Intelligence behind it clearly supersedes how we might think this, or any world should be ideally or could will it so. We constantly come up against the limits of human comprehension, and are easily confounded by unpredictability and apparent randomness, especially in regard to the suffering we see and experience, and all that overwhelms our sensibilities, or appears inhumane, insane or evil.
Some people, when facing the unknown and what only the whole scope of the Big Picture can reveal, might be bewildered, but OK with their "wires" being scrambled; some who may be dismayed, disgruntled or made more cynical; and some who feel mostly anxious, distraught or lost. And still others, who may be overcome by hardship or loss, maintain a faith and serenity that words such as, "Thy will be done" express.
However one looks at it, the Totality is most vast and all-inclusive, and nothing our minds can completely figure out or grab a hold of; and greater, certainly, than any idea or theory we can pigeonhole, tailor to the expediency of our beliefs or personal desires. This, to me, points to true human intelligence, or wisdom, that clearly sees any confines and confusion of thoughts and feelings resting in their Divine underpinnings, and our true Reality, in fact.
What transcends our mind's grasp will always be so; what else, then, but to let be and embrace the Mystery--and in the process, see through any belief-system which may be intentionally or unintentionally trying to pin down and limit what, in truth, cannot be. And beliefs, as we know, can give rise to all kinds of divisions and conflicts (within ourselves and between each other), when any one idea, theory or ideology is pitted against another...And yes, the appearance of separation and all our struggles, everyone and everything, are arising out of and cycling back into God. So, however our world may seem, we can open wide to What's creating us, living and transforming us. We can call this opening, this letting be, love; we can call it trust, or faith or settling into being home. Whatever we name it, it is a most natural response when we realize what happiness, what peace, there is here.
Our essence is most primal and far-reaching--radically more so than any doctrine, or creed, or anything we can say about it, hope for, or need to hold fast to or remember.
And while the question, "Who am I, really ?" may occur as a thought, or cause some people to believe in its answer, what entices me is letting this inquiry lead to Where all thinking and believing begins and ends--Which is spread throughout the whole body, the house, the world and on and on--absorbing all of us in Reality's purest wonder and the look of our true contentment.
Consider the miracle occurring in every moment: We're riding on this giant ball of rock and water that's floating and spinning in midair, amongst other planets and stars too numerous to count!
And, by the same Presence is each of us being breathed, heart-pumped and our every brainwave and cell imbued...Such is the ultimate "mind-blower"--What's so big It has no end and, at the same time, is immeasurably small--the space we abide in wherever we go and bow down in to hear our soul's secret being told.
Whatever name we give to it, our soul is our essence, our innermost, our heart of hearts, the core of us that's most vast and love-filled. Here, we're most intimately joined with God--in a body-mind for a time and as a soul forever...No accumulated amount of remembrance or good works is necessary to fulfill this union, nor can any of our mundane thoughts or difficult circumstances ever remove us from it. And, what a beautiful thing and part of our experience to "come back home," when it seems we've been everywhere else but there.
Great Spirit, origin of the wind, healer of wounds, voice and ears of my devotion, Who is forming and fading every sight and every sound: I lay my head down in your infinite lap, and with it, all my problems and fears--not knowing what the future holds, not needing it to be a certain way...And if I do prefer any particular outcome, this too is best envisioned through these eyes of yours by which I see, beholding You everywhere I look.
How good, then, to let the universal spirit/presence, or "breath of God" in everyone, influence the particulars in our lives--letting any moment be spiritual practice--be an expression of our heart's most expansive reach! When this becomes what we're about, we bear witness to our core-truth, Who we are, really--the love that's breathing in and out our Oneness.
Responding to our core-truth has a certain ease to it, just like falling in love with someone, and not having to try and remember that he or she touches us inside. When we're moved in such a way, we can't help opening and experiencing the joy of this.
And a natural effort, in the sense of fortitude, stick-to-itiveness and "giving our all" goes along with this ease; as does the gaining of physical, mental and emotional strength...Our simplest, purest devotion engenders these in the broadest sense. We have the greatest courage and determination, "have heart," when we're willing to tell the complete truth and stay true to that, true to ourselves as we really are. And whether, in any moment, we feel strong or weak, find love easy to express or not, this sincerity and its resolve can remain steadfast. Then, in terms of whatever else we might be going for, there's little at stake, really, since our primary aim has already found its mark.
At times, we may be intentionally contemplating our true Nature and our mind-forms will reflect this; or a thought or a feeling may pop up from out of nowhere about our core-truth, amid whatever we're engaged in. Any kind of mental activity can arise in any moment--some of it might be about our essence, and in other instances we could be focused on a particular situation, like an upcoming decision to be made or problem to be solved...And let's face it, sometimes our thinking will sound noisy, sometimes more quiet, sometimes agitated, sometimes tranquil; appearing positive and supportive in certain occasions, or more critical, bothersome and even tyrannical in others. Numerous variations of these thought-tendencies can occur in the course of one day, not to mention a lifetime.
All that's taking place in mind and emotion is in the "ocean" of our Being, containing every size and shape of wave, every choppy sea and calm one, muddied water and the most pristine; or to use another analogy, it's all in the "sky" which is broad enough for every kind of weather, be it stormy or sunny. This is Who we really are, Consciousness itself, the medium through which all is passing-- including how we identify with the "wave" feeling separate from, or at odds with the ocean, or the "cloud" not realizing the abundance of air that floats it.
How wonderful, then, to be aware of This, for an instant or as often as we can. And whether or not this seems to be happening in any moment, we remain--in the Substratum, and the certitude of What's all-encompassing and dwelling in our every cavity and very marrow, no matter what we're thinking or how we may appear to be...So, this recognition of our Source-connected essence may correspond to a specific feeling, or may not. Thoughts and feelings come and go, while the Vastness enveloping it all, permeating it all, is constant--regardless of any "waves" tossing us about or appearances "clouding" our view of the sky.
And to look at this in yet another way: We can see our thoughts and feelings coming from the fertile ground of imagination, from the "play of mind," that allows us to manifest in this world what we will...And don't some of us love to dream up intriguing life stories, devise elaborate strategies for success, solve problems (even made up ones), win at games, and create things which pique our interest and stimulate our senses? Any piece of art on canvas, in print, as music, written fiction, in a film or just in our heads, can be forms of fascination we adore or detest, that engage us and give rise to feedback and interaction. This is part of Life's "theater." The question is, how caught up are we in believing the sounds, and dramas and comedies of mind are all there is to reality?
It's good, therefore, to understand the power of our mental projections, and how each of us relates to things through the filter of our individual or group storyline. And as we read into any of our mind's activity (be it apparently fictitious or factual, frivolous or necessary) there is, underneath it all, our intrinsic Nature to marvel at and proclaim...If it seems we have to keep investigating This to even glimpse It, so be it. How lucky we are to be moved in such a way, and to inquire into and via the eyes of our present and eternal Perfection! How lucky we are to act in the "play," and appreciate it from this vantage point.
Our thoughts and feelings spontaneously arise on their own, and are conditioned by our genetic coding, our upbringing, the culture in which we live and the choices we've made.
Wisdom tells us, then: Let the mind think, it will anyway. Let any feelings arise, the body tense and the ego-I be, they will anyway. These things will happen, and we are home--where the heart rests and all the room is provided for everything to be as it is.
If one is moved to practice things like positive thinking, affirmations or visualizations, it's good to remember they exist in the truth of our being, with the truth of our being not dependent on them. We don't need to bring to mind certain images, ideas or ideals; or be captivated by auras, apparitions or vibrations to get to Where we already are. And any of these activities can be well and good, as long as we know they are temporary snapshots of What is in superabundance--before, during and after a thought, or feeling appears and disappears...Best, then, that anything made into a ritual or a practice defers to What everything exists in and flows out of, even the opposite of what we're affirming or visualizing.
It's true, maintaining a vision of the truth in the mind is a most wondrous capacity, and there are many accounts of people who attribute growth and healing to such means...This being said, it's good to understand how seeking purely positive thoughts, and excluding their contrasts, can assume (even subtly) that our true Nature is only evident when a certain mind-form is occurring, or when a special technique is applied, or when inspiring moments are happening or we feel a certain way.
When any mental imagery dims or vanishes, or when uplifting appearances go away (as all appearances will), our essence is still here!--our being at home in God always our most essential truth. What greater affirmation is there than this; what greater impetus for our love and more perfect place for our attention and devotion to rest?
Each of us has the opportunity to find What's closer than any ritual, or practice, method or path could ever hope to take us.
So, as we savor moments of being still, and quiet and aware of the breath of Life, as well as any song of Spirit-praise, it's clear: This fills the air, whether we're as motionless as the eye of a hurricane, or exhilarated by the storm's force or tossed and tattered by whatever it kicks up.
In any moment, we may be moved in a sublime and potent manner by the infinite Radiance in and around us, and venerate This by any and all activities we consider sacred. As far as experiences go, these are most beautiful ones, and if they occur, we might feel different than we did before. But sooner or later, these or any other thoughts, and feelings and moments will fade, will change, as every occurrence does...How perfect, then, that awakening isn't confined to so-called meaningful events we might want to capture, recapture or enshrine.
The breadth of God's spirit in us isn't determined by, or limited to anything happening in time and space. And even if in our forgetfulness, we have apparently left our true home, we get to apparently return in our remembrance and know we have never been away.
There's a teaching voice speaking from What is prior to any experience, and echoes through all that's arising and passing. Hearing this doesn't require extrasensory perception, and isn't limited to a certain type of event. There's no right kind of moment to cause the attracting of my attention, nor can this pull be measured by any special confirmation, apparent progress, or made less by any of my shortcomings.
What inhabits me and What I'm immersed in, is so, right now and without end! And recognizing This is not about getting more likable thoughts or moods, or a different, gleeful face to put over a sad face. I'm not becoming "higher" or "holier" than I was before; and if I'm ever deluded in thinking I am, well, this is just another piece of fiction to be seen for what it is.
There are all kinds of very serious stories we may be wrapped up in-- the ones featuring our personal history, our habits, situations, perceived deficiencies and paths of self-development we wish we could practice more ardently and consistently. Obsessing about ourselves is what we have learned and come to think of as normal in our culture; and when we're so engrossed in the "plots" of our lives, we think they're telling us everything. What luck to be so mistaken!
What luck to be compassionately amused by all we think needs fixing, and the extra willpower we're convinced we have to muster. The ways we puff ourselves up in our posturing, in trying to prove ourselves and secure our place in the "scheme" of things--all these give us a chance to chuckle at the human comedy. And just like watching our children at play (and how seriously they take their roles), we can laugh at ourselves when we see things from the point of view of our real Identity.
As far as the roles we assume as adults, we can embrace and even perfect them, play them as best we're able. We can put attention on our jobs and being more prosperous, on fulfilling our potential as husbands and wives, parents, artists, athletes, you name it--while simultaneously listening to our innermost, sage advice. This might suggest looking at our lives as if we could reflect on them from a very old age, to see how much of value our fretting, and plotting, positioning and preening have really gotten us; and then, living accordingly, now.
To not take ourselves so seriously may be much less interesting for many people. The mere mention of surrender sounds passive, lifeless, terrifying even, especially if it's confused with any form of self-denial or resignation. Many might insist, "I need to be motivated, 'work' on myself, maximize my personal powers and maybe even teach others how to do so; only this will get me excited and provide my life with a meaningful legacy."
As I view it, any version of a real "success story" has, as its central theme, the discovery of our core-truth, our essence. In such a tale, our trust and letting go are anything but passionless, as we recognize What is being given way to and the energy of heartfelt giving This instills in us.
What worth is it to become anyone or accumulate anything, without living where one's most valuable treasure is?
This is not a particular spiritual state to attain, program of self-mastery requiring mandatory steps or esoteric practices, nor the exclusive property of anyone or anything demanding allegiance or sworn oaths...And similarly, any great insight or feeling more sure of ourselves doesn't carry any weight or have anything at stake in our innermost sanctuary.
In being aware of our true Nature and the presence of Consciousness, there's no need to seek any ideal degree of tranquility, self-esteem, acknowledgment or longevity; nor must we try and hush up or shut out what may seem contradictory to our realization or to interfere with it...There's nothing and no one to live up to, nothing to be transcended or heightened feeling-state to hone.
Likewise, every moral code we might believe in or live under, best answers to love's most direct and urgent plea, love's simplest expression...This melts any need for strict "shoulds," hype or restrictive commands from an authority figure/superego standing over us in our minds, from church pulpits or in the sky.
There are those who say we've been plagued, doomed even, since the beginning of human time, by the fact that we have the capacity, even the propensity, to turn away from our connection to God, or actually presume no such bond exists at all.
Some call this a "fall from grace," some say it's our "original sin," which we've inherited from our earliest ancestors and are condemned to commit at any time, given our conditioned tendencies to do so...And some, myself included, do see many of us appearing lost, and seeking genuine happiness and inner peace, not yet realizing the abundance of these in the home we're always in, that's always in us. When we do wake up to Where we are, we can be certain of being anything but plagued, or doomed or condemned--certain that Grace is ever-present.
So, however we view the human condition, and our varying degrees of ignorance, bad decisions, misplaced priorities and loveless behavior, any of it can be swiftly consumed when we're turned inside out by What's everywhere we turn, and therefore, impossible to be separate from--the Life-Spark that is our heart's pulsation, its flame, and eternity's home within our ashes.
When our pursuit for a fulfilling life is all about "me and mine," we can appear estranged from our essence, even to the extent of using people and things for personal or collective ends exclusively, despite what ill-will or harm these actions might cause. And how evident this is, when our selfishness turns love (no matter how cleverly masqueraded) into possessiveness, and attempts to control and manipulate others.
To the degree this ("sin," as some would call it) is going on, a vicious cycle ensues, as we seek for genuine happiness in ways that only push it further away from us--by keeping us perpetually self or group obsessed, and blind to the Source of our completeness...Whatever it's called, the suffering resulting from this mistake is part of the times we've been born into and what we continue to create. We read about it every day in the newspaper and it's on TV every night, often hidden behind fake smiles, insincere gestures and trying to keep up appearances.
Even in terms of our religions (and despite the word meaning to "re-legion," or bring together and reunite), there can be the same signs of megalomania and power-seeking, exclusion and vindictiveness occurring in worldly-minded realms...When we identify so heavily with our ideologies, our side's story, and are so zealous in our convictions, all hell can break loose. If we're convinced we represent all that's virtuous and righteous and somebody else doesn't, then the ferocity of these delusions can be extreme and sometimes violent; we might think we have the perfect excuse, in spite of the message of benevolence, pure-hearted worship and humankind's oneness from which our beliefs may have originated. Isn't this one of history's greatest and most tragic ironies?--how our religions have been the justification for so many conflicts and wars.
Even in supposedly benign and well-intentioned ways: Trying to make others believe the way we do can create great divisiveness; and even if we're not literally at war, "my creed and what it promises is superior to yours," gets played out all the time...Understandable, given our egocentricity and greed, even in "God's name;" and good, therefore, to recognize how this hardens us, corrupts us--and gracefully, paves the way of our downfall and the chance to be brought to our knees, cracked open and repentant.
We're all unqualifiedly related to our common Origin, and therefore, to one another; this is most true...And while we may suffer in so many ways from falsely believing there's no such thing as real togetherness--as the Oneness underlying our multiplicity--this is a way to tell the difference between our essential truth and our essential lie.
If it's just in our minds or in our speech or actions, it's good to see how judgmental we are. It's true, we need to decide which way to turn the car and the best ways to teach our children. And we're constantly making comparisons about what foods to buy, the best candidate to vote for, the right person to marry; the list is endless. Part of being in this world is about choosing one thing over another, following through on a choice, weighing options and gauging situations in order to know how to proceed. Our lives are naturally given to having preferences, and letting these influence what we do.
On the other hand, being judgmental can take the form of, "I shouldn't be thinking these thoughts, I wish I had better ones; or, I'm more evolved than this person, but not as good as that person; or, I've got what you don't, or I wish I had what you do." Each of us has our own version of how the judgmental mind works, and how pompous and critical we can be; or on the flip side of this, how full of self-doubt and self-condemnation we can be.
There's a tendency to stay stuck in our interpretation of things, and how we're sizing up a person or a situation. We often rush to judge, and define people with opinions and attitudes like, "I'm better than you or worse than you; or, you should be like me or different than you are; or, I wish I were as lovable as I used to be." And we're quick to worry about "measuring up," and how we stand in whatever "pecking order" we imagine for ourselves...These notions point to our narrow-mindedness, and can keep us stuck in things like suspicion, shame and envy.
As opinions and comparisons spontaneously pop up, it's good to know they're a result of our conditioning and what usually starts taking hold in childhood--when, to a great extent, we can't help receiving what's passed on to us--like being overly critical, biased, and prone to jumping to conclusions and making mis-"takes" about people and events...If we're intending to grow up, we can let our truth-telling fine-tune our attention and soften any hardening around our hearts, so our judgmental tendencies are seen for what they are and we are forgiven for being "all too human." And with even a moment of this clarity and compassion, any unnecessary constraints we put upon ourselves can be recognized and released, and we can choose something different--different than what even the most conditioned behavior and debilitating habits might otherwise dictate.
Discerning intelligence is sometimes a necessary act of love--to say, "Yes" to something or someone and, "No" to the alternative, and being appropriately cautious and skeptical about the people and situations warranting it.
And real intelligence also knows it's OK not knowing what to say, "Yes" or, "No" to and that our best interests lay bare in the open heart, where uncertainty and skepticism can relax, having found a home.
Here, our taking care of business and handling our affairs, our being realistic and pragmatic, are given a great purpose--to help provide and care for any of us in our embodiment...And even if this should seem difficult, or have its ups and downs, we still and always abide in What's all right and most Real, in any case. To realize this is our greatest, lasting fortune, and the firmest foundation on which to live.
Answering the call of our true Nature may not appear easy because of our conditioned thinking, behavior patterns and the times in which we're living. We might assume we're just these people struggling to get by, or trying to fill up perceived voids in our lives or climb whatever "ladder of success" we're driven to.
But again, all of this is our greatest ally, and the perfect opportunity to find out the consequences of buying into the lie--that who we might think we are, strive to be and hope to achieve is more relevant, more important, than Who we are already and always, in truth--more rewarding than giving way to This and seeing our amazement and gratitude, pure enjoyment and enthusiasm thrive in us...And however painfully loud any reminders might be (to not believe the lie), redemption is an easily recognized shift in attention, in priorities, and a welcoming in the heart--thanks to the Spirit that so becomes us, no matter who or what we choose to become.
For the longest time I've had a basic curiosity. Why are we here? When we get out of bed every morning and for the rest of the day, why do what we do and for what ends? When these kinds of questions are alive in us, the consideration of what serves genuine happiness is greatly enhanced.
Perhaps to make a decent living, and survive as best we're able are all any of us wants. Or maybe we're seeking to have more money and luxury; to be smarter, more successful, admired and popular; have perfect health, security and safety; greater status and power; the ideal partner and family; a fancier house; the most desirable body; the ultimate sexual experience; better drugs, or creative or spiritual highs; longer leisure, with more engaging hobbies and entertainment; greater physical strength, energy and longevity; a calm mind or more profound and inspirational experiences.
Any of these desires has a place in this world. They express the wide range of our humanity, perpetuate our species, keep our stories full of dramatic twists and turns and the intrigue of wanting someone or something. And we do enjoy a good story...The ones I especially love help us get to the core of any story--that help us uncover and stay versed in our heart's true meaning, exuberance and peace.
While taking care of basic needs like food, shelter, health, intimacy, family and security, if we're not looking out the window of our true abode--knowing this, treasuring this--then no house we inhabit, or lifestyle we covet is ever lavish enough, glamorous enough, prestigious enough or pleasures us enough.
We can all relate to this: either lamenting over not getting what we want, or fulfilling our desires and remaining out of touch with our contented depths. Still, we go on seeking--sometimes for the same things, sometimes for different things, perhaps with more elaborate and intricate strategies, while coping with the weariness of never quenching our real thirst.
It's good to see, then, how we romanticize and live in make-believe for what we think will satisfy us through and through, and good to be dis-illusioned by this. This, to me, is Divine disappointment--the Grace in finding out what can never really "do it" for us, and that even these misguided attempts are part of our Self-discovery--conceding what a truly fulfilling way of being isn't, in order to know full well what it is.
In wanting to remedy one's discontent, or escape having to look at its causes, there's a tendency to become addicted to what we think will help us feel better (or to what numbs us, so we won't feel much at all). Many people are self-medicating, and searching for ways to be comfortable, or consoled, energized or transcendent-like in their own skin.
And it's not just with the obvious forms of drugs and alcohol. We can be hooked on any number of substances and activities--on money and luxury, power and control, food and sex, recognition and fame and adrenaline rushes of all kinds, including peak inspirational experiences. Like we've talked about before: Any fixation on trying to satisfy the individual or collective entity alone, or seeking the constant via what is only temporary, keeps us looking for happiness in all the wrong places. As obvious as it sounds, it bears repeating: What we're really looking for is never found in anything incapable of providing it.
This isn't a weakness or a defect in one's character, as we're only being human in wanting to feel more alive, or relaxed or less bored, even if we imagine it's through getting "high" on whatever we do. The problem is, of course, any drug not only fails to truly fulfill us, or keep hidden what cries for revelation, but the side effects are costly in some form or another. The initial pleasant feelings are short-lived; they are quickly followed by increased discomfort and craving, greater excesses, toxicity, depleted energy, isolation, wrong decisions, as well as (with some addictions) the possibility of debt, injury, imprisonment and death.
However it occurs for any of us, we drop our bad habits when they've sufficiently worn themselves out--when we experience both the limitations and even intolerable pain of our behavior patterns, and finally being able to act differently. This happens when it does; and for many of us, there is a definite sense of Grace intervening then--a "higher Power," or light going on in us and illuminating our life-directions. Whatever we call it, and through whatever circumstances it takes place, This is discovered to be the real transforming, healing Force. And usually, we'll only go with this flow when our futile pursuits and self-inflicted misery leave us at last with little or no resistance.
It's good to be pierced by an intensity of insight--of how we, in any way, sabotage what we know to be true by valuing anything more than it--by selling out.
This wake-up call is best treated as a dear friend and one never to be gotten rid of...Whenever I engage in any form of Self-betrayal, or deny the love and happiness of my essence for the sake of some other habit or desire, it's good that this (or any variation of hard-heartedness) pains me, and serves to crack me open to my reunion...However, poignant or harsh, abrupt or slow, this is a most blessed, valuable kind of pain.
It's my sense, that finding the nature of genuine happiness happens at the same time as we're being found...There's a miraculous commingling of our intention to discover "it," and the Grace sparking this interest and helping us consummate our deepest desire. Maybe just a sniff at first; then, at some point, our inmost fragrance begins to be the air we breathe, wherever we are.
For some of us, this Grace comes in the form of our dissatisfaction. We start to see things that once gave us moments of pleasure, distraction or excitement no longer doing it. "There must be something more to life," we might exclaim, or a way to find what we're really looking for.
Isn't this the crux of what's going on: a gnawing sense of dislocation--from true fulfillment and inner peace--and the crying out to be rejoined?...How wonderful, then, absence can make us grow fonder, especially for home. And even more so, how magnificent that we're already here!
The ways of the world push and pull at us to be experts at what we do, and somebody special who has credentials and things to show off. That's fine as far as that goes, and all that goes with it, feeling confident, or proud or praiseworthy about anything we do.
Yet even if a person has vast knowledge, and the capacity to manage and direct people and situations, what good is this without a generous heart easily given to great joy and humility? Even if someone is supremely confident, creative, eloquent, able to fix complicated things, help cure diseases, understand the workings of anyone's mind or predict future events, what then? These abilities don't necessarily translate into a happiness brimming with what's priceless inside, a spirited glow not requiring advanced, much less superhuman means.
Alas, there is a blessed undoing coming from our depths, where nobody is special and everyone is; where no credentials are needed, as we stand naked in even the finest clothes--all revealed, all equal, in our Maker's eyes...And yes, each of us is given unique capabilities, strengths and weaknesses, and play various roles. Still, we're all in God, and That in us, however we appear, and succeed or fail, rise or fall.
Our Creator has fashioned the ego/persona as part of the play of life. And for many people, the play is entirely about trying to find happiness through glorifying one's separate identity (in either individual or collective guises), or through trying to change it, fix it, polish it or even suppress it. And trying to repress the ego is still being preoccupied with it, wrapped up in it.
So, rather than either idolizing or demonizing my conditioned tendencies and their stories, I'm most drawn to simply and continually look homeward--with "my eye on the prize." Waking up, then, to What's most real, valuable and liberating, is just that.
If it seems we have forgotten Who we are, still, nothing is lacking, just as discovering our true Self is nothing to gain. We may think there is deficit or attainment, but those are limited views, ideas, and believing what's Real is defined by them, or only confined to the highlights of our experience or the pinnacle of our aspirations.
While we may appear, at times, to lose awareness of This, Consciousness itself can't be lost (even if we imagine it's like a game of "hide-and-go-seek")...In truth, It's always here--seeing out our eyes, vibrating in our every cell and coursing through our veins, no matter how caught up in things we can sometimes be, or how we might enjoy any game of peek-a-boo.
It is a precious gift and auspicious time we've been handed--to consciously be home in a variety of ways, unique to the individual and any here and now.
In any instant, each of us can be traced back to our Origin; so the question, "Who am I, really?" supplies its own answer and the ending of the search. What we are looking for is Who is looking and most easily found! This overriding sense may arrive in ways we might describe as mystical, and ecstatic and full of blissful reverie; or simply as a tacit certainty of What's here, no matter what we're experiencing.
At other times, this love might be expressed without any corresponding Self-inquiry or other such reflection--just blessing whatever's happening, especially the ordinary things and the daily encounters with people...Simple awareness and an open heart are good enough; and our Grace-given chance to tap into the Wellspring where welcoming and acceptance, kindness and compassion, forgiveness and letting go are abundant. Here, the best solutions to life's many challenges are a lot easier to recognize.
And as always, without total honesty our selfishness can quickly rear its head, and what we feel passionately about or have as a purpose becomes just another "me first" story. Then, even the notion of Who we are is used to merely motivate ourselves, pump ourselves up, in order to get what we think we don't have...What do we hope to get, after all? What's missing, really?
I'm free when I really see there's nothing to lose--understanding what's Real can't be lost. When I know Who I am, in truth, is presently complete, I'm free of the fear of not getting what I want. What more could I desire that is greater than that?--this love, this Wholeness, engulfing me so. Every one of us and everything about us are waves inseparable from God's ocean. Even what look to be limitations, sorrows and dilemmas are surrounded by nothing but This water.
Being free accepts that we'll be subject to distress, discouragement and people doing harmful things; these will always be part of the human realm. We live in a world where positive and negative, highs and lows, pleasure and hardship necessarily coexist. And because any form (as form) is bound to time and space, we aren't immune from what goes on here, including every body decaying, day by day and year by year, caught in the ongoing round of birth and death.
There's no getting around our physical mortality; and I get we're meant to face this head on, and look all the way into ourselves...The briefest take is liberating--of the One unmasking the body-mind and any spatial or temporal parameters.
Some people are certain they can have or be anything they want, as long as their intention is strong enough and they remove all the obstacles in their way. But what about all those people who haven't realized even a fraction of what they've wished for and never will? Even after countless workshops, therapy and intensely focused attention and willpower, many of their desires go unfulfilled.
And what about anyone you can think of who is disadvantaged or impaired in some way, through no fault of his or her own? If there were complete freedom and ability to create an ideal, personalized reality, don't you think more of those adversely impacted would have succeeded in fashioning something different for themselves?
It's true, some folks with mental and physical limitations embrace their situations--some are even thankful for them and able to rise above the adversity; but equally as many do not and will not...Think about your own life or anyone else you know. Even without extremely difficult circumstances to overcome, do you have everything you've ever wanted? I doubt it. And I don't buy the argument that we're somehow to blame for this state of affairs because we haven't tried hard enough or sufficiently transcended our impediments.
The point I'm making is this: Life is manifesting in all sorts of ways, and we are the vehicles through which our Creator is expressing Himself/Herself. People are going to be how they are. Some will be totally goal and achievement oriented, certain they have the utmost decision-making capacity--that whatever they set their minds to they can have or become. And for others, this is definitely not happening; or it seems to for specific periods of time, but not consistently.
Ultimately, even those experiencing difficulties or who seem to be failing are expressing aspects of What is. Whatever moves through us we'll do, we'll be, including the possible frustration in not getting everything we want and being how we've always been...As I view it, no matter what parts we play in the scheme of things, and amid whatever's going on, we are always being shown on the "screen" of the "Big Picture"--already and endlessly shined through, already and endlessly alright.
In giving way to our essence, or telling the whole truth about ourselves, it's obvious that we are not defined by or confined to our personal characteristics or anything that's happened in our lives. Who we are, really, is infinitely more essential and enduring than our genetic coding, or our age, our culture, our history, or any thought, emotion, bodily condition, belief, occupation, partner, strength or weakness or amount of time on earth.
In gazing into the eyes of anyone else, is there not the same gleam of Awareness looking out through both of you?
Likewise, a curiosity about our insides may lead us to What makes the world go 'round: the one Presence beating in every heart.
Such an emergence and panoramic view!--waking us up, just like any morning from the previous night's dream that seemed most real.
These writings are not about being optimistic in any usual sense, which can be fleeting and easily deflated by difficult times or catastrophic events.
This world is one where pleasant feelings and unpleasant feelings fluctuate, based in large part on mental and emotional activity, personal situations and the daily news. We tend to feel upbeat or not, depending on the conditions of our lives or the world...What I'm pointing to is much more substantial than that--the Substance of which real trust/faith is made. This does make everything better, but it's not about having optimistic thoughts as opposed to pessimistic ones, or uplifting moments of belief followed by shaken ones. Both can spontaneously occur, often alternating back and forth; and like all such occurrences, they come and go. What holds it all, however, is always here and alive in us, in fact!
It's understandable, then, to have pessimistic feelings concerning the Middle East (and for much of the world). Things won't fundamentally change there, or anywhere, without a flood of awakening in many people; and it's true, on the surface this doesn't seem to be taking place...Still, a major shift can occur (and may actually be in the works); and for this to happen, as I see it, those involved must go deeper than usual optimism, to Where we are right now and in any moment, in essence--at home in temples of reverence and peace-making for us all.
And it's well and good to wish, and envision what we want to take place someday, to hope for the best, for what we feel we deserve and how we think our lives should be--knowing full well, that any of these can easily get stuck in the disappointment, despondency and dismay our heart's core-truth never does.
There is a natural dedication which develops if we sincerely want to be good at something, like a musical instrument, or a new language or occupation, for example. And maintaining a certain focus on our learning, and persisting in our practice of it result from this dedication, and are essential to the educational process and becoming more accomplished, whatever our interests or goals might be.
In the case of discovering our true Self, one could call this a goal; but what's great about this goal is it's realizable in the heartbeat of every here and now...This realization might seem to magnify and become more consistent over time, and our future moments may arrive with seemingly greater epiphanies and inner harmony. Or, perhaps, we notice that nothing special is happening, or only seems to be, intermittently.
Being attuned to our core-resonance can come about and affect us in varying ways and degrees; and like all occurrences in time and space, they appear and disappear in every conceivable manner...In any event, and no matter what, we're already complete, as That who is living us and being our home.
And how perfect, that we can hear this truth in any instant, and there are no rehearsals required for this awakening "chime" to ring in us, nothing amplified we need to feel, no level of performance to maintain or anyone's approval to seek...There is most wonderfully, the wooing of our hearts and the ceaseless returning of this favor in kind.
There are some people who are intuitively certain of being led by a "writer" or "director" behind the "script" of their lives moving them toward certain destinations. And equally so, is there not the individual's power of choice, as fundamental in navigating this human journey?
It's clear to me, whether we go where we do because of "fate," or "free will" or a combination of the two, we can walk within our infinite heart, even as we might be in the dark about what's around the next bend or exactly how we got there...We can simply love, can look to our deepest truth, no matter what's going on.
And maybe there is a higher Intelligence with a distinct plan for each of us before we leave the womb. Or just maybe there is no such thing, in order for our Source to know what it's like being surprised--by what means bring about what ends, without knowing ahead of time what these are.
Whatever happens, my strongest inkling is that each of our destinies, and our capacity to create and choose, are one and the same Being taking unique shape in every life, and experiencing all the ways of being us.
There are those who are convinced they have lived before this life, and some of their traits will re-form into another body after this one's gone. That could happen; I don't know. I know nothing about past lives or future ones. What is so for me is this: Whatever takes place, our very Being always was and will be, in this or any form, in this or any life.
And what about heaven?...In the sense of what occurs after we leave this world, maybe we do enter a brightly lit space filled with ethereal, angelic energy and the auras of others who've also passed--both those we get to love and be loved by again, and those we may have hurt or been hurt by...Perhaps, heaven, then, is just like what's possible right now--the chance to be so honestly eye to eye with our Maker that we can't help simply loving, period--including making amends, giving and receiving forgiveness, and beholding that we are, indeed, all God's children united in this Kingdom.
And to me, "hell," on earth, or anywhere or time, refers to the despair of believing we are hopelessly trapped in body-minds consumed by worry and wanting, and cut-off from the Source of wholeness and happiness. This is just like suffocating and gasping for the life-breath of God and love, and sabotaging our rescue with debilitating habits which keep us in turmoil, beating ourselves up. And however full of illusions our beliefs might be, they can seem extremely real and devastating. As many have experienced, war does feel like hell, either in our hearts and minds, or among us.
Thankfully, our relationship to anyone or anything can be Spirit-filled, even if this planet is fraught with difficulties, and inhabited by many people who couldn't care less about what these writings are about. Whether we know it or not, our timeless, celestial Nature is here, and irrevocably sewn in each of us--and not just someday, or "up there" or after our physical form dissolves.
In realizing this, we know both heaven and hell exist in What contains all polarities, no matter what the moment or circumstances are. Thus, when any of us is humbled, and even agonized by the failure to love, how perfect. Only then, can any hardening around our hearts be softened to receive our core-caress; and however one phrases it or considers it, this intimacy is key to our restoration, our salvation, and an enlightened way to be.
Staring me in the face is a universe perfectly created, including all the cracks in the "glass" and our attempts to repair them...An
